CROOKED X
by Morgan Y. Evans
live photos by Glenn Zanzitis

LINKS:

myspace.com/crookedx

Oklahoma's Crooked X are the newest band being managed by industry insiders Spencer Proffer and Doc McGhee, a hard rock four piece who have already opened for KISS, Ted Nugent, and Alice Cooper plus newer acts like Black Stone Cherry, to name a few. They seriously held it down on the Ernie Ball stage this summer on Disturbed's great package tour Music As A Weapon IV. That's cool, you're thinking. Well, the catch is, these guys are barely out of their middle teens, not even that far into their late teens! These guys are out kicking ass on stage every night while most people their age twitter about Twilight or worry about applying zit cream. Bed wetting on the tour bus jokes may seem inevitable, but let's be honest, many adults would probably wet their bed if they were opening for KISS at any age. Give these guys a break. Crooked X may have a few doors opened for them by the interesting oddity of their age, but it's also the result of hard work, practice and a lot of luck, in addition to having supportive people around them.

I see a lot of promotional materials, and the hype behind Crooked X was something serious. It feels like they have a ‘70s rock band's wheels/machinations turning behind them, like some huge ass arena band. The fact is, they work really hard, but do have a lot going for them. Fronted by wailer Forrest French (a memorable name a la Freddie Mercury if ever there was one), the band are very competent musically. As they mature and progress it is inevitable that this band is going to be capable of putting on quite a show. They already have the marketing and push behind them in place to secure them attention (including a recent MTV special), and the novelty of their age is going to wear off more and more as time goes on. Crooked X have also already been featured in the Rock Band video-game, something that probably means more to a teenager even than it does for older bands who still love their gaming.

Crooked X's self-titled debut is a blend of classic rock signifiers and youthful enthusiasm. "Gone" stomps like 311 meets radio friendly rock a la Crossfade. Not my total cup of tea, but the Crooked X boys pull it off with extra attitude and, hardest of all, an almost believable amount of swagger. Granted, they haven't lived like Led Zeppelin and a lot of their stage moves are out of the classic rock play-by-play book, but they are trying to combine old and new in a way that is more refreshing than what a lot of their teenage peers are doing musically. My biggest advice for the band is to stop trying to look tough in occasional photo shoots, because it is too distractingly humorous and they are too good a band to have those distractions.

I talked to drummer Boomer Simpson about what it feels like to be living the rock'n'roll dream and winning over skeptics. He was cool-headed and humorously makes me sound less mature than him, even though I'm in my early thirties (though I guess a lot of people are more mature than me). Anyway, let the Crooked reign begin.

MORGAN Y. EVANS: It's funny, because when I saw your album cover of the band name sort of floating over a desert, it reminded me of a Whitesnake or UFO cover, like classic hard rock. Then it turns out it was done by Hugh Syme who has made covers for Whitesnake! Awesome.

BOOMER SIMPSON: Yes, Hugh Syme is a great guy! We are really thankful to have him design our CD cover. He has also done covers like Rush. The coolest thing about our album cover is you can spot it a mile away in the stores.

MYE: That's true. I saw it in Target the other day. It's funny, especially in this recession and downloading time of less album sales, and I know you guys have worked hard and practiced near a strip-mall, I believe, but I am impressed with the band’s sort of aura of professionalism that I got from investigating you. It feels like you have these big wheels turning for you like some ‘70s arena band. Are you guys freaking out or what! It must be crazy. How does it feel getting to open for KISS or Alice Cooper and Ted Nugent! I mean, all three already!

BS: All these guys are our inspiration and heroes. It was just unbelievable. When we went to Sweden with KISS it was awesome. The fans over there really like our kind of music, We are extremely fortunate and grateful to have played with them.

MYE: At first I was really skeptical of you guys, like, "What the hell is this!?" But then I remembered how much I already cared about music at your age and decided to give it a fair chance. At your age most kids are still just playing video games and you've already been IN the game Rock Band! That said, I'm only mentioning them because you are both young groups, but could you guys please get famous as fast as possible and turn attention away from the Jonas Brothers! That pledge-ring stuff makes me want to throw up in my mouth, it's so lame. Whatever people think about celibacy until marriage, the worst part (besides their music) is that I don't think anyone should get married until much later because it never works. [laughing] Sorry. But anyway, what would Crooked X 3-D look like if I went to see it at an IMAX? I bet it would be way better.

BS: We would focus most of our movie on our live performance because that’s who we are. Sorry to say we haven’t seen the Jonas Brothers movie to compare. We are just a rock band made up of four friends that started when we were all 11, four years ago. Just us four with no other musicians. If you like live music and like to rock you would like our movie.

MYE: One more thing along the lines of the last question, and I'm not saying you sound like them, but I know people have mentioned Hanson and it makes you guys mad. The thing that got me on listening to the self-titled EMI debut though, is that the songs sound like you could still play them when you grow older and not be embarrassed, whereas those Hanson dudes might write sophisticated songs now but will never live down "MMMBop". (Although I know for a fact that Claudio Sanchez from Coheed and Cambria loved Hanson when they first came out, so maybe they influenced some of his catchier hooks.)

BS: We’re not mad, we are proud of Hanson and how they represented our part of the country. They are a pop band and we are a rock band, so the only real similarity is we are both from the same part of the country. Hanson has found a way to keep on playing their music and they have a loyal fan base.

MYE: Another issue about maturity though, your chops sound really solid and it is amazing what the band has accomplished so young and in such a short amount of time, regardless of the fact that you have great management and endorsements now. You guys practiced and practiced! Even if people were cynical and assumed your CD had lots of session people playing parts for you guys, if that was true you'd still have to pull it off live and people would realize. You guys can really play, though.

BS: There were no session players, just the four of us, every single note. If you have any doubts please come to one of our shows. We have been playing live since we were 11 years old in the 5th grade. [Author's Note-- Since I did this interview, I saw Boomer and the band at Music For A Weapon IV and they were super tight and a lot of fun. After the show I shook Boomer's hand and told them they rocked. For a review of that gig, see the Music As A Weapon article elsewhere in the features section of Crusher.]

MYE: "Another Nail In The Coffin", the bridge of that song is my favorite part of the album. That's a great passage, very energetic. I have to say, though...Just to play devil's advocate, but aren't you guys a bit young to have a song named that? And again, are you worried that, since hard rock has been the very domain of unbridled masculinity often in the past, that people won't take you as seriously if they think you are in the midst of puberty? I'm not trying to be mean, dude.

BS: Well we are all guys and we love to rock. We all grew up listening to our favorite music, That song is about the dangers of drug abuse. There is no age restriction on this topic.

MYE: I saw you thanked Dave "Snake" Sabo on the liner notes. When I was your age and the first Skid Row album came out, their first record and Guns’N’Roses LIES changed my life. I know that your producer Spencer Proffer has worked with Skid Row (although I must say I stopped listening to them after Sebastian Bach left), but did Dave come to the studio and meet you guys or something? "Adrenaline" actually reminds me of if Skid Row jammed with Godsmack, like a cool hybrid.

BS: Dave "Snake" Sabo is a good friend of ours as well as many other artists, of course. Our management asked Dave to come visit us to see if we really could play. Since that we have kept in contact from time to time with Snake.

MYE: So let's talk about how this all started. Things really started moving for you guys when you entered to be on a morning show on CBS, right? I was on CBS This Morning with some Renaissance Singers years ago and I never got to open for KISS.

BS: We are very fortunate to be managed by Spencer Proffer and Doc McGhee. Spencer is the hardest working man in show business. Everyone has to compete for 2nd place and Doc is a legendary manager.

MYE: You guys are homeschooling now or rather, some of your parents travel with you on the road, which must help, right? Do you ever want them to leave you alone so you can do bad stuff? And also, on the school thing, do you think you'll miss interacting with people in a normal, high school way or have you realized that high school sucks and it is way cooler to go on tour with Disturbed?

BS: Of course we get tired of our parents like any other teenage kid. We may have traded some of our normal childhood experiences to travel the world playing rock music but this is our dream and we wouldn’t change a thing.

MYE: The intro of "Gone" reminds me of 311 and then more modern rock, later. What were some of the styles you wanted to touch on before you wrote the album?

BS: We’re influenced from everyone from Lynyrd Skynyrd to Slayer to Ted Nugent. We like southern Metal and straight up rock’n’roll. We really didn’t intend for our music to sound to like anyone's but hopefully you can see our influences.

MYE: You guys did a rockumentary with MTV, right? I didn't see it but how did it go? Was it weird getting used to the cameras?

BS: It was cool! After a while you just kinda forgot they were there. They are more interested in getting good footage than getting to know us.

MYE: How did you all meet as a band? Cooper has been playing since he was three? I hear it was some real model gear, too, which is cool, 'cuz Fisher Price doesn't count! [laughing] Sorry, had to tease a little bit again. Then again, I'm thirty and still trying to get a band off the damn ground! I'm clearly jealous.

BS: We all started playing after our 5th grade football season. We decided we wanted to work as hard as we could and practice as much as we could and see what would come out of it. Who would have thought it would have turned out like this!