MELVINS
by Morgan Y. Evans

LINKS:

melvins.com

myspace.com/themelvins

I don't know whether to be angry with sludge-Godfathers, the Melvins, or if I should make cartoon heart eyes at them. More than any other band they probably helped reinforce the idea that you can be as stubborn and uncompromising as you want, which certainly doesn't rub everyone the right way. I guess it isn't their fault that for me their music is akin to Hunter S. Thompson's "White Rabbit" moment with the radio and the bathtub in Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. With each gnarled note or freakish experimental bit of tweakery, they hooked me in deeper into following the underground with a rabid intensity. While it has certainly made life interesting in good and bad ways over the years, I can't say I regret becoming as obsessed with rock n' roll as a band like the Melvins made possible. For years since I heard Houdini, their first Atlantic Records release,the Melvins have been my favorite band (albeit later often battling it out in my mind with the mighty Clutch every time one or the other releases a record). Houdini was a revelation for me, a slow grower that, once it clicked for me, was totally liberating. From the nonsense lyrics of "Hooch" to the epic "Lizzy" and the weird drum fuckery of "Spread Eagle Beagle" right down to the two-headed dog Frank Kozik cover art, it was perfect for my teenage state of mind. Rebellious and challenging, it also sounded like hot, steaming...mud, but like shit to stupid people and therefore easy to infuriate others with. How thrilled was I to learn back in ‘94 they had a long history and many other records for me to delve into and lose/find myself in.

Like Klaus Nomi, the Melvins were at first perhaps way too ahead of the curve for some. Now the Melvins are revered as a major influence on hundreds of bands. Metallica may have the swank merch beach towels for sale in their online store (which I actually think is a pretty metal, if humorous merch item), but the Melvins are no less a staple of the important metal food groups for countless, on average much more discerning fans of heavy music. While the Melvins aren't playing arenas with KISS these days, despite their still thriving relationship with circus ringleader Mike Patton's Ipecac Records, they regularly pack the house and destroy all takers 25 years into the band’s "grunge" legacy. "Grunge" was always an over-simplification for the murky witch’s brew of what I call "complete brain cave-in" that Buzz Osborne (aka. King Buzzo) and Dale Crover have produced over the years with numerous bassists and various cohorts in tow. The band’s records, all one million of them, stay interesting and always offer something brilliant or brilliantly challenging, be it the gargantuan heap of dirge known as "Amazon" from The Maggot or the lost in Wonderland fright of "Toy" from The Bootlicker, to records like Stag or Honky, which featured both abrasive punk-learned noise at its finest, as well as utter dementia, sonic sludge manifest to the fullest alongside very weird forays into strychnine land ("Black Bock"). Stoner Witch, to this day, is probably my favorite album of all time. Nothing beats "Revolve", seriously, (although "Zodiac" from Bullhead comes close).

Recently, Dale and Buzz have teamed up with younger disciples Big Business to form a two-drum monolith of furious proportions. The results on albums like Nude With Boots and A Senile Animal have brought them new-found fans, (How weird was it the day the Melvins were on the front of MySpace a few years ago!) and have only added to their pregnant arsenal of ugly duckling wonder hits. Many bands never make one good album, and love them or leave them, the Melvins have made a gazillion. Shit, Kurt Cobain was their roadie and Dale even played on Incesticide, the most challenging and crazy of Nirvana's records. Although they also have since covered "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with Leif Garret on vocals, which was hysterical. This is one band that has never been worried about alienating people.

This year, to celebrate the silver anniversary of the band, the Melvins are playing a series of 25th anniversary shows in New York, Seattle, and Portland (to name a few). The shows are an “evening with” the band and feature a first set with the original line-up of Buzz Osborne, Dale Crover (on bass) and original drummer Mike Dillard. The boys will play songs from the Mangled Demos record with Dale Crover playing the role of (ex-Melvins/Mudhoney stalwart beer drinker/carpenter/rocker) Matt Lukin! The Seattle shows even have a re-constituted Green River on the bill, making it a very "Seattle" event. For the second set of these anniversary shows, the Melvins will perform Houdini in its entirety with Fantomas/Mr. Bungle's Trevor Dunn on bass, as the guys from Big Business are out touring their new album Mind The Drift and can't be there.

I talked with man himself, the one, the only, Dale Crover, about the upcoming shows plus various highlights of their career that will not die. We even got to discuss bathtubs full of worms, so I'd say it was a success. Dale is hands down my favorite drummer ever (that makes 100 "favorites ever" in this article, but it's all true. Melvins rule). Now that I have finally interviewed the Melvins I can die happy and don't need to accomplish anything else in life. Thanks Buzz and Dale! I really was getting sick of caring about paying bills. I don't even have to write any more articles, though I think I will undoubtedly be compelled to keep doing it (as if you cared or were really worried). I'm almost as addicted to writing about music now as I am to obsessing about all things Melvins.

MORGAN Y. EVANS: Twenty-five years, man. That's amazing. I have been listening to you for 15 and have seen you like 9 times. Half my life! And I can seriously say I don't
want a refund! Being that this anniversary is here, I wanna ask some stuff about your whole career. First up, no matter if you are playing total sludge or your more ZZ Top type boogie riffs or crazy outer space evil stuff like "Specimen" from the Amrep 12” series, you always exude a “Melvins” quality. How is this accomplished?


DALE CROVER: First off, thanks! I'm glad you like what we do. You wouldn't get a refund if you didn't like it. After playing together for this long we have things dialed in pretty good. It's going to sound like the Melvins no matter what we do musically.

MYE: "Bar-X The Rocking M" from the Stag album is, I believe, the finest music video of all time, with only some Huey Lewis and the News videos and maybe Motorhead's "Killed By Death" coming anywhere close. Whose idea was it to have a split second of giant breasts in the frame but crawling with earthworms? Did I imagine seeing that all these years?!! Is this interview over?

DC: That video was directed by porn director Gregory Dark. His movies weren't just straight porn. There was always something weird going on, like zombies fucking. You forgot to mention that the girl was in a bathtub full of meat as well as the worms. At one point she screamed that the worms were crawling inside her!

MYE: You have played Houdini in its entirety a few times now. Why again for this anniversary? Why not pretend you're going to and then come out and play Prick or Collosus Of Destiny and upset people? I met you and Buzz for half a minute at CBGB's once years ago and mentioned the song "Chief Ten Beers" and Buzz just said "That was a weird time for us".

DC: Actually it's going to be one long show that includes Houdini, 1983 Melvins and more. Trevor Dunn is playing bass for Houdini since the Big Business boys are on their own tour and won't be there. “Chief Ten Beers” is a great song! When isn't it a weird time for us????

MYE: My good friend John The Baker from the band Instant Asshole did some back ups with you guys on the Jellvins albums with Jello Biafra! He said it was amazing. I wondered, Buzz has talked about not liking it when bands and artists talk politics but then due to all the shit that was
going on the last 8 years you guys made a political album or two with Jello. I guess you meant political grandstanding, not in a punk sort of spirit of protest sense?

DC: Jello has always been political compared to say, The Beastie Boys, who went from fighting for their right to party, to fighting to free Tibet. Our collaboration with Jello had more to do with our mutual love for Alice Cooper than any kind of politics. Though we have a ton of respect for Jello
taking on the PMRC. Everyone forgets that Jello fought for our artistic freedom. Just like they forget that the PMRC were Democrats!!!!

MYE: There was just a movie made about the Germs. I forget what it was called and don't know if it sucked or not. I was listening to your cover of "Lexicon Devil" and wondered, do you ever fear that since you've been around a long ass time that someone will make a movie biopic like RAY about you guys? Who would play the young Dale and Buzz...the Superbad guys?

DC: Did that movie ever come out? There is a Melvins movie being made. It stars Heath Ledger as Kurt Cobain.

MYE: There's always going to be good music and bad music. Thinking of various scenes or eras whether hair, grunge, or new crappy "emo" or hardcore, what do you think is worse? When a band tries to act tougher (i.e., not in an actually bloodthirsty Slayer way, more like in a Seven Mary Three or Three Doors Down way) or when they act gay-er and happy (i.e., any new pop-punk, bright yellow, pink t-shirt wearing band in various "punk" magazines).

DC: I like tough and gay in a Rob Halford way. He's not acting. Doesn't have to!

MYE: I agree, that is the most awesome! A few songs I wanted to ask you about. I love your cover of "The Ballad of Dwight Fry". What made you choose that song? Also, "Buck Owens" from Stag was such a crazy, kind of elaborate song. Did you ever have a hard time playing that live?

DC: I can't remember why we chose "Dwight Fry". I guess we needed a ballad? I don't think "Buck Owens" was any more difficult than anything else. We used to play it a bunch live.

MYE: Yeah, I saw it on YouTube, but never at a show. Ok, who are the three biggest douchebags you've ever met in the record industry, if you don't mind? This is my "laughing with Lucifer at Satan's Sideshow" influenced question.

DC: Rick Rubin, Sharon Osbourne and Artie Fufkin.

MYE: How does it feel to be playing the reunion shows with Mike Dillard?

DC: It's great! Lot's of fun playing with Mike. It sounds pretty much how the band sounded when I first saw them.

MYE: Buzz's vocals in "Forgotten Principles", one of your early Black Flag influenced songs, made me think of how more band vocals sound the same these days on purpose. Punk and metal bands were supposed to be like Crucifucks and about everyone having their own, actual voice.

DC: We played with the Crucifucks once. They were great!! Too bad more people don't have a voice like that. Doc Dart! He's the real thing!

MYE: Stoner Witch has my favorite segue-way ever of two songs, from "Sweet Willy Rollbar" into "Revolve". How much thought do you guys put into stuff like that? Sometimes you really jerk people around.

DC: I'm not sure what you're talking about here. There's a segue-way there?? Are you sure you're not jerkin' me around?

MYE: [laughing] Lastly, I wanna thank you guys for being unafraid to be as heavy or ugly or expectations defying as you want to be, even when it may have been bad for your "career" in some eyes. That is a truly inspiring thing to witness in an artist. Shit, my first band Melancholy used to cover "It's Shoved" back in 1996 and our drummer Pat passed away really young, tragically, but some of my favorite memories of life with him are playing your song.
That and the first time I got laid was while listening to "Going Blind"! [Too much information!] But it's even better....I dumped a girl for not liking your band! You made, well...helped women hate me!Can I have like a can of Melvins meat or something? Are there any left anywhere?

DC: Thanks! Sorry about your friend. You would've dumped that girl anyways. We are a total chick band! I have no idea what you mean. Check eBay for that meat. I ate mine!