A conversation with Brian Grosz (Guitars, Vocals) and Dave Valle (drums) of Dogs of Winter. Ryan Dowd (Bass, Vocals) recently became the father of a healthy baby boy, so it's assumed that he was breastfeeding and therefore unavailable for comment.

MIKE SOS: How did you come up with the band name?

DAVE VALLE: It wasn't my idea.

BRIAN GROSZ: No, it was my idea. I wanted to be sure that I would spend the rest of the band's career correcting people who pronounce the word "Winter" as "War." Who knew there were so many people who have read Julius Caesar?

SOS: Describe your music to someone who never heard you before?

BG: I describe it as "stoner-metal for math-geeks."

DV: Who hasn't heard of us?

BG: Good point. Go with that answer. Next question, please.

SOS: How does From Soil To Shale compare to your prior releases?

DV: The title is different and my bass drum is bigger.

BG: It's also 9 minutes and 18 seconds longer, which is the equivalent of endowing it with a penis long enough to snake a toilet. Plus, we make way more nerdy sci-fi references this time around.

SOS: How does a Dogs Of Winter song get written?

DV: I look at the boys right between the eyes and tell them to "just fucking listen to me". Hits Galore.

BG: And then Ryan and I finish the song on our own and secretly devise a way to convince Dave that there have been other - and better - albums since AC/DC's Back In Black.

SOS: Do you prefer stage or studio and why?

DV: Stage; I like to wow everyone with my "mad skillz."

BG: I prefer the studio. There's a much smaller chance that you'll get arrested in the studio if you decide to get naked and nudity is the key element to my guitar tone.

SOS: What can we expect from a DOW show?

DV: Blood, sweat, tears and hopefully an empty wallet.

BG: And please keep in mind that those are tears of joy and spiritual enlightenment. Those are not "Leaving-Las-Vegas-Crying-Hooker-In-The-Shower" tears.

SOS: What sets DOW apart from other bands?

BG: Our impeccable dental hygiene and unhealthy obsession with the work of Harold Ramis.

DV: There are no other bands.

BG: Nevermind. Dave is right again. Go with that answer. Next question...

SOS: When I'm not in DOW, I'm?

DV: Fondling myself in the mirror while wearing my combover wig.

BG: In the Wendy Williams Experience live, studio audience. HowYOODoin?

SOS: What's some of the advantages and drawbacks of being a NYC band?

DV: Pro: Cheaper studio rent. Con: the drive in from Westchester.

BG: Advantage: You live in the greatest city in the world. Drawback: NYC bands.

SOS: What's your favorite summertime song?

DV: "Summer Girls" by LFO.

BG: Anything by Bone Thugz 'N' Harmony.

SOS: What would make 2009 a banner year for DOW?

DV: To get a huge following.

BG: Getting Dave's name deleted from the Sex Offenders database... and getting mine added.

SOS: Any final words?

DV: Niente.

BG: Omega.

The debut LP "From Soil To Shale" available now for FREE DOWNLOAD at lapdanceacademy.com/soil